How to Talk to Your Kids About What's Going On
It's Important That They Hear This Stuff from You
I was going to write a very different newsletter today. It was going to be about local advocacy around sex education. How you can get involved in your district. How you can stay informed as to what’s being taught to your kids.
And this is still important.
But then, six days ago, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and shit got real.
You may not feel that this information is relevant to you or to your kids. Especially not now, when they’re still young.
But I believe it is relevant, for two reasons.
1. Our abortion rights are only the beginning. This is only the first move in which the conservative right seeks to fully control our bodies… to legislate pregnancy, sexuality, gender and, yes, sex education. Which makes this decision relevant to just about everyone.
2. This decision has had an emotional impact on many people. I myself have gone through numbness, rage, and fear. Our kids are smart. They pick up on our emotions. They pick up on the emotions of those around them. They may sense that something is off, but not know what. As with most things, it’s best if they hear it from you.
Clarissa Herman, a social, emotional, and sexual health educator, put together a great set of slides for Instagram on How to Talk to Your Kids About the Loss of Roe v. Wade.
She recommends asking your kids what they’ve heard, supporting them emotionally, explaining what the Supreme Court decision means within a historical context, discussing the values around the situation, and making a plan for further education and action.
Her slides go into further detail, providing some great tips and examples for each step.
I know.
It feels like a lot.
But you can keep it simple, depending on your child’s age and level of understanding.
After my daughter (who turns 8 next week) heard me grumbling at my Instagram feed and asked me what was wrong, I told her that some people—for any number of reasons—may decide they don’t want to carry a pregnancy to term. I told her that, previously, these folks had the option to get a medical procedure called an abortion, which would end the pregnancy. And then I told her that, because of a legal decision made by folks who feel empowered to control our bodies, this option is now, in some cases, illegal.
She understood and she was suitably outraged and indignant because she is my mini-me.
So please do consider having that talk with your kids. This book might help. And in the meantime, take care of yourself. I know. This is hard. But once we give ourselves some time to process and engage in some self-care, we can fight this thing.
Here are some resources for when you’re ready.
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
Here are 8 ways parents can help LGBTQ+ youth take care of their mental health.
Speaking of gender and sexuality, here are some examples of what gender identity lessons might look like in schools.
And while this explainer from Healthy Teen Network is aimed at teachers, parents can still glean some helpful tips on how to make their own sex ed convos more LGBTQ+-inclusive.
There’s been a huge(r than usual) backlash against comprehensive sexuality education this past year. Here’s a piece on that backlash. And another one on why sex education shouldn’t be controversial. And yet another one on why comprehensive sex ed matters.
Here’s a rage-inducing longread on how white parents rallied to chase a Black educator out of town. Incidents like this are occurring across the country with sex educators and with educators of color who are being accused of teaching critical race theory.
Speaking of race and its rightful place in the education of our children, the Sex Education Collaborative has put together a paper on centering racial justice in sex education.