It's OK to Have Questions About Sex Ed
It's important to be plugged in to what's happening at school. But not all sources of info are created equal.
Welp. Here we are. It’s the end of September and my child is third grading it up. Every day, I drag myself out of bed, pack the same bland lunch, stick a cereal bar in a plastic baggie, refill her water bottle, and set it all by the front entryway. Every day, I make sure she’s actually wearing shoes when she walks out the door (you would think this one would be a no-brainer, but there have been many times that I’ve locked the front door behind me, looked down, and noticed my child was not wearing shoes). Every day, I pick her up at the front entrance to her school, ask how her day was, and get zero information whatsoever beyond, “fine.”
I pick up snippets of information—who’s chasing whom on the playground, who’s stealing kisses, who’s using adult language in a derogatory fashion—here and there, sometimes from other moms.
But on the whole, the inner workings of my child’s school are as mysterious to me as that latest thriller I’ve been reading.
And this is why it’s so important to do your homework when it comes to the sex ed your kid is receiving in school. I firmly believe that parents and schools should be working together to ensure students get the information they need about sexual health and relationships and all the rest of it. But when communication between schools and parents remains at a minimum, it’s easy for misinformation to creep in.
Certain folks—conservative politicians and pundits, mostly—have been taking advantage of this communicative vacuum to freak out parents who aren’t sure what actually goes down in the classroom.
So it’s understandable if you’re concerned.
Before you start to panic, though, I recommend giving educators the benefit of the doubt and asking them what your kids are learning and why. I think you’ll be relieved to find that both you and your kid’s teacher want the same thing: to equip your child with the information they need to be safe, healthy, kind, and autonomous human beings.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, you can also do a little bit of homework before approaching your child’s teacher. I know my district keeps the most updated version of the curriculum online for public viewing. It’s required in New Jersey. It’s likely required in your neck of the woods, too.
That’s how I know that this year, in addition to lessons on social-emotional learning, my child will learn “the importance of communication with family members, caregivers and other trusted adults about a variety of topics.”
Seems a bit… thin? Luckily, when she enters fourth grade, she’ll learn about family values, how to set boundaries, and how to be welcoming to and respectful of those of all genders and sexualities, abilities, family configurations, races, socioeconomic statuses, etc.
Now, that’s more like it. It feels good to know what’s coming and to be able to plan my own at-home discussions accordingly.
What questions do you have about classroom-based sex education? You can ask those questions here, but I also encourage you to learn more about what’s happening in your home district.
Don’t let baseless rumors send you into a panic. Get informed.
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
Editor Emily McCombs writes of how her 10-year-old disclosed that he’d seen porn for the first time, and what she told him.
I’m such a fangirl of sex educator Al Vernacchio (you read my Q+A with him, right?), so I was thrilled to see this interview with him on how sexuality education is a form of social justice education.
Some educators make the case for starting sex ed in Kindergarten… and show exactly what that would look like.
Educators weigh in on whether students of all genders should be taught sex ed together.
Well hell. In the wake of abortion bans, the state of Texas has revised its sex ed standards to include more comprehensive information about pregnancy and STI prevention.
My Favorite New Sex Ed Resource
Remember Our Bodies, Ourselves? I still have my doorstopper-sized 2011 edition on my bookcase. The organization stopped releasing new editions years ago, but they recently launched a brand new website: Our Bodies Ourselves Today. This online platform provides carefully curated materials intended to educate folks on contraception & abortion, gender-based violence, aging, heart health, menstruation through menopause, mental health, pregnancy & childbirth, sexual anatomy, and sexuality.