Well, here we are. A brand new year. I’m a bit of a curmudgeon when it comes to the new year, so all I’ll say is: 2022 was a rough year for sex ed (among other things), and I hope 2023 will be better.
Over in my Thunder Thighs newsletter, I wrote that I’m not really one for resolutions, as they tend to presume that we’re not enough. That we’re lacking in some way. Instead, I prefer to set larger intentions.
My intention this year? Make healthy choices.
And by “healthy” choices, I mean choices that make me feel good in my body, easy in my mind, and light in my heart.
For me, this means everything from setting healthy boundaries to practicing yoga at least twice a week to allowing myself to eat those milk chocolate peanut butter smidgens I got for Christmas guilt-free. (So. good.)
It occurs to me that we can use those same guiding principles when it comes to making decisions around our children’s sex education. All we have to do is ask ourselves:
What will make my kid feel good in their body? How can I foster gratitude in them for what their body does and what it is capable of? How can I foster a sense of compassion in them for their body? How can I teach them to live in their body without shame?
What will make my kid feel easy in their mind? How can I teach them to make decisions and set boundaries that will make them feel safe and comfortable and empowered?
What will make my kid feel light in their heart? How can I assure them that no matter what is going on in their lives and what choices they make and what questions they have, I’m here for them… here to answer questions, puzzle out various conundrums, and love them unconditionally?
No matter what your opinion is when it comes to sex ed—and we’ve talked about this before—you want your children to be safe. Right?
How can the lessons you teach your kids about sex and bodies and boundaries and relationships serve that?
For me and my kiddo, this means normalizing the use of proper names for all of the body parts. Striving for body neutrality when I am unable to achieve full-on body positivity. Owning eleventy-billion books about bodies and relationships and consent. Giving her autonomy when it comes to setting body boundaries or making decisions about clothing and hairstyle and, to an extent, food. Answering all of her questions with honesty, even when they make me uncomfortable.
And sure, my kid chooses to wear cat ears to school every day and, at one point, I was forced into a conversation about pleasure I felt completely unprepared for.
But if it means she feels free to be completely herself, without shame (and oh my god she does; this kid is always living her best life)… if it means she feels comfortable asking uncomfortable questions, I am here for it.
What are your sex ed resolutions or intentions for 2023?
Some Bits and Bobs
I’ve been a bit disconnected from the news during this holiday season so, instead of sharing news links, here are a couple of things I thought you might appreciate.
I know I’m late to this, but have you seen the limited series Baymax! on Disney+? An offshoot of the Big Hero Six movie and series, it’s a collection of shorts featuring Baymax, a robotic personal healthcare companion who provides healthcare to reluctant patients around town. It’s super sweet and I mention it here because of the matter-of-fact and shame-free way its third episode revolves around a teen getting her first period. Totes worth watching with your preteen.
You may have seen calls to include pleasure in sex ed and wondered—with horror, perhaps—what that meant. In this set of Instagram slides, educator Julia Feldman shows what it really meant to teach teens about pleasure: