Earlier this month, I wrote a piece for Feminist Book Club about the power in our period stories. In that piece, I recounted how—at the age of 40—I tried a menstrual cup for the first time.
For me, that menstrual cup was a revelation. At 40, I was menstruating for the first time in over eight years, a gap that was due to pregnancy, and then an IUD. When I tried my first menstrual cup, it gave me a sense of power and control I’d never felt before with my menstrual cycle.
Because I’m… me, I began raving about the glories of my menstrual cup to anyone who would listen: my spouse, my 8-year-old, my parents, my friends. I was just so excited. At one point, perhaps caught up in my enthusiasm, my child even asked if she could watch me insert it.
Which speaks to one point in my piece: the importance of normalizing conversations about periods so that we can defang and demystify the experience for those who menstruate or who will one day menstruate.
(Note: This is an important point, and one that applies to just about any sexuality topic.)
But the other point I made was about how even as I was trying to prepare my 8-year-old for the changes that would one day happen in her body, my own body was still changing, and I was finding that there were still new things to learn.
And that’s okay.
This week—February 2, to be exact—is International Sex Education Day (ISED). It’s a day on which parents, communities, educators, and other trusted adults are encouraged to spend just a few minutes talking about some aspect of personal safety, relationships, and/or sex with the young person in their life. As someone who’s been writing about sex for over two decades, this feels reasonable (though not without its oh-shit moments). Still, I know that one thing that holds parents back from talking to their kids about sex is the fear that they won’t have all the answers their kid wants or needs.
Allow this newsletter to be your reminder that it’s okay to not have all the answers, and to still be learning well into adulthood. It’s okay to say, “I’m not sure, but I can find out.” It’s okay to say, “I’m not sure… but maybe we can find that information together.”
When you approach topics such as these with a beginner’s mind—with an attitude of open curiosity—you create an opportunity for both of you to learn something new. And, I don’t know… I think doing that together is sort of beautiful.
P.S. Speaking of learning something new—particularly around how to have those conversations about sex—the Sex Education Alliance (of which I’m a member) is presenting a day of parent sessions later this week. On February 2, from 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. EST (aka International Sex Education Day), speakers are giving talks about… “the talk.” Registration is $39 for this live, online event, but you can also access the recordings for up to one month after.
You can register for these International Sex Education Day Parent Sessions here.
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
With more and more teens and young adults getting their sex education from social media platforms like TikTok, it’s important to be aware that misinformation abounds. Here are some tips on how to engage in media literacy.
I dug this short piece by health educator Ellen Friedrichs on how moral panics—not lax values—are hurting our youth.
This longread illustrates how some teens find it nearly impossible to access both comprehensive sex education and contraception.
Recent research shows that for historically marginalized youth especially, sex education curricula need to be informed by the needs of the community in which it is being implemented.
SIECUS has released its annual State of Sex Education Legislative Look-Ahead, which gives a look at new pieces of legislation that have been introduced in the previous year.
My Favorite New Sex Ed Resource
Have I already told y’all about Pleasure Pie, a grassroots sex-positive organization located in Boston, MA, that provides zines, illustrations, publications, events, and conversations on sexual empowerment and consent? (I love them.) They recently shared this tiny zine in their Instagram feed, and it feels like the perfect thing to share with the teen or young adult in your life. You can order your own copy in their Etsy shop.