The gift-giving season is upon us (god help us) and, every December, my child receives a few sex ed books underneath the Christmas tree.
Lucky her, right?
It may be that, because of my line of work, I’ve been a bit overzealous over the years. At the age of 8, Em already owns enough sex ed books to fill an entire shelf.
She’s very gracious about it, though. She knows they are filled with ***Very Important Information***. Also, she loves me, so she’ll put up with a lot. Still, at this point, I imagine that opening yet another sex ed book feels a bit like…
When I speak to other parents, however, I get the sense that their kids have zero sex ed books. Often, these parents just don’t know where to start. Sometimes, they don’t know when to start (I’m sure it’s super helpful when I reply, “Eight years ago?”). Oftentimes, both are the case.
Luckily, the real answer to “When should I start?” is “Now!” So no matter how old your offspring, I wanted to share my favorite book picks for each age group.
For Your Littles
This is the book I used to teach Em about bodies. Teaching about the proper names for body parts is a great starting point when you pop out a new human. You can start doing this immediately, during diaper changes, during tubby time, and when changing clothes. This particular book is incredibly gendered (meaning it leans heavily on the gender binary, explaining “boy parts” and “girl parts”). But it’s a great starting point, and the lessons here can always be supplemented with a book like Tyler Feder’s Bodies Are Cool.
Click here to purchase a copy of Robie H. Harris and Nadine Bernard Westcott’s Who Has What?
For the Slightly Less Little
I’m such a fan of Harris’ books. They’re considered classics for a reason. So once your kiddo has all the body parts down, consider reading this one with them, which will give them a more expansive sense of what bodies are all about, and also provide them with accessible info on gender, reproduction, family, and friends.
Click here to purchase a copy of Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley’s It’s Not the Stork!
For Your Preteen (think post-toddler and pre-puberty…)
I swear this newsletter isn’t sponsored by Robie Harris and Michael Emberley but, I have to say, when it comes to the early-age basics, they rock. And this particular book was recently reissued with updates to make it more inclusive of those of all races, genders, sexualities, and abilities. It contains info on everything from conception to puberty to birth control to larger questions around sexual health. This is also a good time to supplement reads like this with those on boundaries, consent, gender, etc., all of which can be found on the Guerrilla Sex Ed database.
Click here to purchase a copy of Robie H. Harris and Michael Emberley’s It’s Perfectly Normal.
For Those Approaching (or Entering) Puberty
Y’all. I am obsessed with this book. In fact, I included it as a featured resource in a previous issue of this newsletter. So. Puberty can begin for your kiddo as early as the age of 8. So as they enter middle school, it could be the perfect time to pass along this fun fount of wisdom. Laid out like a graphic novel, it features four middle school-aged protagonists who are in the thick of puberty and grappling with all the changes that come with it. There are chapters on body autonomy, disclosure, stigma, harassment, pornography, trauma, masturbation, consent, boundaries and safety, puberty and reproduction, and more. More than anything else, however, wrapped up in the lessons are sexuality are foundational lessons in how to be a decent human being.
Click here to purchase a copy of Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth’s You Know, Sex.
For Your Teenager
I am such a fan of everything Heather does (did you know they were the founder of the teen-run sex ed site Scarleteen, and also the author of a fabulous book about menopause called What Fresh Hell Is This?). Which is why there’s no one I trust more to give my kid the lowdown on everything from consent to safe sex to emotional health and more.
Click here to purchase a copy of Heather Corinna’s S.E.X.
P.S. My bonus rec for this age group is Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan’s Let’s Talk About It.
For Your All-Grown-Up Bébé Who’s Preparing to Leave the Nest
For years, I’ve been recommending Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are for this age group, and I still feel strongly that it’s a must-read. But just last year, Mendelson and Conejo created this contemporary Our Bodies, Ourselves, and I could not stop raving about it. Pussypedia bolsters their information on All The (Sexuality) Things with peer-reviewed science, making it a must-have resource that readers can turn to again and again.
Click here to purchase a copy of Zoe Mendelson and Maria Conejo’s Pussypedia.
And of course, the GSE database is always there if you want to drill deeper into topics like gender, sexuality, consent, and more.
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
Loving this piece on the parents who are taking their kids’ sex ed into their own hands.
Here’s a look at why sex ed in America is receiving a failing grade.
And we’ve already talked about this in previous issues of this newsletter, but here’s an explainer on why the fall of Roe v. Wade could have a negative impact on access to quality sex ed.