My child is 9 now, so she better understands the fact that I prefer to pee in private (thank the gods) but, once upon a time, I regularly had an audience while I sat upon the porcelain throne. In fact, I still remember the time several years ago when she gazed upon my menstruating body with horror, fully convinced that I had been somehow wounded. I explained to her (not for the first time) what a period was, and how—someday—she would experience it, too.
She was not happy about it.
A couple of years later, I shared with her Vaginas and Periods 101: A Pop-Up Book by Kristen Lilla and Christian Hoeger.
As much as I adore that book, it was probably too soon for her. She declared she was never going to get pregnant, and that this decision would somehow spare her the curse of menstruation. She was not thrilled when I informed her that that’s not how it works. 🙄
She’s been resistant to further period talk ever since (though she did once ask how I insert my menstrual cup). I suppose that’s what happens when your mom has an entire shelf devoted entirely to sex ed books. You get burned out on overt attempts to be educated about sex. She now groans and rolls her eyes whenever I mention a new sex ed book. I dread the levels of snark she’ll likely achieve once she’s a legit teenager.
Anyway. There are so many books out there that are not strictly educational, but that nevertheless have a lot to teach about sexual health. Enter (for example) Ali Terese’s Free Period.
I received an advance copy of this middle grade novel the other month and finally got the chance to read it in December. It’s about a group of middle schoolers fighting to get the restrooms stocked with period products. I was instantly charmed by the badass main protagonists and the book’s overall sense of humor. But as I made my way through the entire book, what I was really blown away by was how such a fun story managed to pack so much punch, imparting lessons not only about menstrual equity, but also about friendship, and about the various ways there are to engage in activism.
If you have a middle grade reader who is menstruating, or who may soon be menstruating, I highly recommend you preorder this book for them (it’s out in March).
This isn’t the only non-educational-but-secretly-educational period book I’ve read. Go with the Flow—a graphic novel by Lily Williams and Karen Schneemann—has a similar plot to Free Period, and is another perfect read for middle grade readers.
And for adults who are interested in learning more about folks’ varying relationships to menstruation, I highly recommend Rachel Kauder Nalebuff’s Our Red Book, a collection of essays, oral histories, and artworks about periods across all stages of life.
In the meantime, you should definitely check out Terese’s website, which is so much fun, and which contains delightful resources for your adolescents, like menstruation-related baked good recipes dreamed up by the book’s main protagonist; a friendship bead bracelet activity; and a pretty fantastic handout on cultivating empathy, finding common ground, and creating change. There are even crochet patterns for a cuterus uterus, an adorable blood drop, a tampon, a maxi pad, and a by-god pelvic floor (!). This makes my craft-loving heart squee, even though I suck at crochet. I suppose I’ll just have to stick to my embroidery.
I know I don’t write about it a lot here, but issues of period poverty, and the right to menstrual equity, are intrinsically tied to issues of sex ed access. In fact, menstrual equity is defined not only by equal and comprehensive access to menstrual hygiene products, but also by our right to education about reproductive health, which both removes barriers to care and reduces stigma surrounding it.
So please, do talk to your kiddos about how they might experience menstruation. But also consider the importance of access (to period products… to education… to healthcare) for all.
P.S. If you’re at all interested about advocacy work in this area, check out Period.org, The Pad Project, the Alliance for Period Supplies, and Red Equity.
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
I ugly cried while listening to this powerful story from educator Justine Ang-Fonte about blurred boundaries, and what grooming actually is.
I loved seeing everything EducateUS accomplished in 2023. Click through to check out the work they’re doing, and to see how you might get more involved in sex ed advocacy within your own community.
If you’re confused about the issue of trans athletes, see what super smart person (and trans athlete) Schuyler Bailar has to say.
My Favorite New Sex Ed Resources
The National Coalition for Sexual Health shared some smart tips on how to talk to people who don’t agree with you, particularly when it comes to sexual health topics.
Worried that your kid might share your sex ed lessons with their peers, causing their parents to react negatively? Educator Kathleen Hema has some great advice.
NBC News reports that 75 anti-LGBTQ bills became laws in 2023. All the more reason to donate to projects like Transanta, a mutual aid project that connects anonymous gift givers with trans youth who are unhoused, in foster care, or otherwise grappling with a lack of support.
Finally, will you indulge the book nerd in me and allow me to recommend just one more book? Educator Debby Herbenick recently came out with Yes, Your Kid, a book for parents and other caregivers on how to talk to your child about communication, consent, sexting, and pornography. I’m such a fan of Debby’s work, and this book truly delivers.