This past month was extra busy. I went away on a long weekend writing retreat, which was fabulous, but which also screwed up my sleep schedule (and my sleep schedule is sacrosanct for reasons of health and functionality).
I took a family trip to the Renaissance Faire, where we were hit by a big storm just a few hours in.
I spent two days at New York Comic Con, which is always exhausting.
Then, midway through a Tuesday night chorus rehearsal, I noticed that my throat felt scratchy. I told myself I’d overworked my vocal cords. But by the next day, I had a full-on head cold.
As I spent two weeks in a sinus pressure-induced brain fog, sleeping too much, making homemade egg drop soup, and hocking up snot (you’re welcome), I thought about what it means to listen to our bodies.
I tell my child to listen to hers all the time, but does she fully understand me?
“Listen to your body,” I tell her when she sits down to a meal, not wanting to police her food intake, but also wanting her to eat both enough and not too much.
“Listen to your body,” I tell her when she’s playing Minecraft or creating art, because sometimes she’s so absorbed in what she’s doing, she has to sprint to the bathroom to make it on time.
“Listen to your body,” I tell her when she’s feeling run down, yet still refuses to nap.
I try to explain that this is how we take care of our bodies. That this is how we create a home for ourselves that feels healthy and comfortable and good.
You know?
It may seem like a stretch, but that stuff above? It’s totes sex ed. Or at least these are core concepts that strengthen understanding of later-in-life lessons around sex and relationships.
Teaching kids what feels physically good and physically bad in their bodies not only helps them now, but can also help them make positive decisions later on in life, within the context of their sexual relationships. After all, positive sexual relationships are those built upon mutual pleasure and consent. But it’s tough to recognize what feels good in the body if we don’t start flexing that muscle early on.
And building upon those lessons, kids should also start to learn how emotions feel in the body. As I mentioned just the other month, labeling emotions and describing how they feel in the body teaches kids to trust those feelings, which in turn can help reduce the risk of child sex abuse.
So how can you teach your kids to listen to their bodies beyond just… well… saying that?
One good resource is Listening to My Body, authored by Gabi Garcia and illustrated by Ying Hui Tan.
This interactive book recommended for those ages 3-8 guides kids through the process of naming their emotions, and noticing the physical sensations that accompany them.
I also recommend Melissa Pintor Carnagey’s interview with Lydia M. Bowers, author of We Listen to Our Bodies (illustrated by Isabel Muñoz). The interview appears on Melissa’s Sex Positive Families podcast, and is a half hour listen.
These are just starting points, of course, and I always recommend checking out the resource database at Guerrilla Sex Ed.
How have you started having these conversations with your own kiddos?
Full Disclosure: Sex Ed in the News
First of all, with the latest atrocities that have occurred (and that continue to occur) around the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, you may be wondering how to talk to your kids about what’s happening. I was pleasantly surprised to receive some resources from my child’s school, and I thought I’d share them with you
from the National Association of School Psychologists, Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators
from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Talking to Children About War
from the Center for Resilience + Well-Being in Schools, Talking to Children: When Scary Things Happen
Here’s a look at how anti-abortion centers spread misinformation within their sex ed curricula.
In her newsletter The Mother Lode, Cindy DiTiberio wonders whether the presumption of motherhood as an obvious path for those who can bear children stems from the way we teach kids about sex. A thought-provoking read.
This longread about a transgender student, her crusading, conservative mom, and the teacher caught in the middle was heartbreaking.
For Mother Jones, Abigail Abrams writes about how accessible sex ed can help young adults with developmental disabilities form healthy relationships.
And as a Jersey girl, I just have to share that over 97% of NJ parents decided their kids should have sex ed.
Just for Funsies
This scene from the movie 20th Century Women popped up in my Instagram feed and made me crack up.
"Now everyone say it together—menstruation—like gentle, happy, but casual."
YES.